this evening not much seems to be going at the beer bars of G, i only see people walking in and out of karaokes. in a restaurant with a fancy english name the menu is chinese only, so i end up with fried rice again. i ask for directions to the cinema and the waitress tells me there is one just across the street. the ground floor is a game park, they direct me to a dirty little room were some guys are playing cards around a stove. they say this is the cinema and indeed i can see people watching tv in the surrounding rooms, but i don't seem welcome so i hit the street again.

after walking some blocks i decide to dive into the bar under my hotel. no windows in this place, it is the kind of bar where all the girls are there to work. i sit down and order a beer- the waitress wants to know if i want a girl to talk or to dance with. her name is A and she will drink whatever i buy her. i have a hard time understanding her, heavy local accent. a couple of snacks find their way to our table and i start to wonder how much i will have to pay to get out of this place. A is 19 and there is really not much we can talk about. i am curious about her job but that does not seem her favourite subject. she says she will call me the next day to go shopping. in the mean time there is a model show on the stage. in china being female and above 1m70 is all it takes to make you a model. they are all dressed in the same ridiculous golden costume, and take their work very seriously. it is definitely not about fashion. A says she can introduce me to one if i like. their cold mask of pretension makes me shiver. i say bye to A after she tries to convince me the only money she makes is what she gets from customers, like me yes. she says the snacks are on her, so i give her something. she seems disappointed but i guess it is never enough.

next day A calls and says she is out of town. i ask if she knows a good place to have a drink and she tells me to go to Q. it is only tuesday night but the place is full of young disco crowd. i wander around through a labyrinth of corridors and stairs, with dozens of karaoke rooms, and find a hall with live music and comedy, not my thing. i tell a guy in a suit i just want to have a drink and he brings me to a trendy bar where there is a group of foreigners sitting near the dance floor. he assumes i am looking for them- so few foreigners in this city they must know each other. they are english teachers of course, and kindly invite me for whiskey&coke. nice music, nice people. i wonder what kind of life these young chinese people have to fill up this large club on a week night. but then in a city of a couple of millions there must always be people who have something to celebrate. a girl introduces herself as an old friend of one of the guys. suddenly she grabs my hand and drags me out of bar, into one of the karaoke rooms where her friend is celebrating her birthday. i seem to have been promoted to boyfriend. half of her friends are lying spaced out in the sofa. someone is singing into the sound system. she drags me to a booth selling huge teddy bears, chinese girls like those, even after 25. i refuse to buy one for her so she pays herself, but tells her friends i bought it. the air in the karaoke room is saturated with cigarette smoke. the birthday girl is feeling unwell, we talk a while outside and she orders 2 cups of tea. she is 21 and i am the first foreigner she meets. i join my foreign friends again and the party is still carrying on when i decide to leave, i have an early train to catch. in the taxi A calls me and seems disappointed to find out i am going home alone. i thank her for recommending the place. 2 days later she calls me to say she is back in town but i am already in another province. she says she wants to introduce me to someone and asks me to call this number. a man answers with an aggressive voice, and with a smile i realise that again a chinese person has managed to use a stupid foreigner.

***

on the christmas train from G to G i am woken up by a train lady- excuse me, sir. she asks me to climb down, at least 6 people are staring at me. my head hurts to much to complain so i just want to get it over with, whatever it is. one of the train conductors is dressed up as santaclaus and has a present for me, a ridiculous piece of christmas decoration. i also get a happy new year card, and i am asked to show both while 2 photographers take a couple of pictures. i play along and climb back into my bed. for a second i appreciated their gesture, trying to give me, the lonely foreigner so far away from home, the warm feeling of christmas. next time i should do like those other minority people in china and ask money for taking pictures.

i wake up in the afternoon and the girl from the neighbouring compartment starts talking to me with a funny malaysian accent. a young and ambitious chinese girl, her life seems quite a success story. she buys me food and the guys start joking about us. their is some jealousy in their remarks, chinese girls easily like foreigners (as a chinese friend of mine remarks after reading this, vice versa is also true). i am looking forward to the day i will be able to explain them that indeed many chinese like to use foreigners.

we arrive in the middle of the night and i help the girl carry her 9 pieces of luggage. she is meeting 2 internet friends for the weekend, both foreigners. the guys impolitely ignore me, they have probably spent too much time in chat rooms. i leave her to enjoy their full attention. i check into a cheap hotel for what is left of the night. a very young couple is waiting at the reception desk. they have no luggage. she is wearing the white boots, he the usual brown suit. i realise i might be as old as both of them together. this is the new china.

december 2003